The festival

See, I like the festival in a lot of ways. The city comes alive. There's always something to do in the evening. Lots of old friends I know who work as stage managers and technicians come to town and I get to catch up with them. The mixture of people you get has to be seen to be believed. There's loads of free comedy and all in all its a bloody good couple of weeks.

The shop does quite well too, so I can't complain on that score. Its something odd and pleasantly unique about gamers. We all try to find the local shop when we go to visit a new town. Just to drop by and see what its like, maybe pick up a book that we can't get back home. You know the score.

Contrary to what you might believe its one of the few times of the year that I really do get to have fun too. Its always satisfying to find the right game for the right person. To be able to hand them a book they never thought they would be able to get, that kind of thing. Its even more rewarding when the customer in question barely speaks english though. There is something fun about being handed a book and being told "I want book. Like this but different. Is blue..." and actually being able to find what they are looking for. That takes skill.

No, what I hate about the festival isn't shows, or the disruption, or the tourists, or the posters everywhere. It isn't the fact that I can't go to my local for a quiet pint after work because its full again and there is a show running. It isn't being shouted at by tourists asking for directions in a foreign language. I can even deal with the stupid questions that I get from Americans (no, that is the castle. No, its not behind the house on the hill there, that's it. No, it isn't awfully small, its just very far away... [actual conversation here too]).

No, what I hate is that the centre of my town smells like a public urinal. Every recessed doorway, every side alley, seemilngly anywhere that you can stand and take a pee reeks. And it doesn't go away either. Thats a smell thats gonna linger for weeks after the festival is gone. Everywhere I go there seems to be someone peeing in a corner, and its not just men, let me assure you. Even during the day. Thats what really upsets me too. Its not like Edinburgh is short of a toilet or 2. I should know I had to find them all the time before the operation. Its not that hard.

See, since I came out of hospital and got fit enough, I've taken to walking everywhere I can. I walk home from work most days. I walk to my family's house in portobello once a fortnight, and I'm up Arthur's Seat at least once if not 3 times a week. I walk to the pub, I've even walked to work a couple of times. I'm not sure I want to keep doing it though. Not if my olfactory sense have to keep being randomly bombarded by the smell of urine.

So to conclude. Next time you're out at a show or the pub and you've had a couple of drinks, go drain the weasel before you leave because you don't want me walking up and telling you to stop using my city as a sodding p***ing post, coz thats what I've started doing to others.

- Liam