Quotes
Submitted by Yoda on 7 February 2007 - 12:11pm. Watt Gamers
The original page is at http://www.drunkoncaffeine.com/gamers/quotes/ but I've included some of my favourites below.
"Why is there Wookiee porn on the missile?"
"Can you think of a better defense mechanism? AHHHH! MY EYES!!! MY BEAUTIFUL EYES!!!"
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"My team is expendable! I have the plot!"
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"No, you can’t sodomise an elephant"
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"What are you two doing?"
"The gnome’s on fire, you say?"
"Yes, but she doesn’t seem bothered by it."
"Right. Stick, marshmallow, chase."
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"I drive the fire engine straight through the windows. Do you want a stealth roll?"
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"He’s like a Furby, but with cranial bombs"
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"We kick the door down, go in all guns blazing, and if it’s not his place then we just say sorry and go next door."
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"You gloat. Spend your turns on that."
"Hey you! Your mother is a toaster!"
"You insult the dead bodies, after you’ve gloated at them."
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"We’re here in the past, messing with time, probably messing up our future and all you can think of is if the food has no meat in it?"
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"You don’t get to make a resist roll, it’s a God."
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"Kill wall. Can’t be bothered any more."
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"Yoda got lucky. The girls didn’t."
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"Maybe being an emo kid in a goth club turns your aura black."
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"If they don’t open and close the door five times before entering, then a big demon will drop from the sky and suck their souls out through their eyeballs…"
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"See the amazing John. He has 5 aces in every hand. One of each suit!"
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"Evil’s not good for me…"
"Evil’s bad for your health."
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"Hold Person, no... Throw Kebab"
Oh mighty DRagon; I bring you food...
Never eat the chaos horse!
Bad canibal porpoise! Naughty canibal porpoise! No more eating people for you!I cast fireball at the shark, because I can. Anyone for sushi?
Thrichmirgrinan eh? Well I guess with a name like that even I'd think about becoming a pirate captain.
This plan is so bad it must be one of ours.
(this one is actually from Farscape but it just seemed so right at the time)
A pickaxe to the groin will do wonders for your prostate problems
You can't die! Your Auslander. You're not supposed to die!
Tough sh**
(Auslanders last words to the world, spoken while Corina lay over him crying.)
Empire shmempire. Now chaos. That's where the real money's at...
OK, I understand that I got stabbed through the chest by the ogre trying to save the rest of the party. I understand the fact that your character has now saved my characters life. I understand the part about how you resuscitated me and massaged my heart. I understand about the mouth to mouth and the hours of surgery and stitching. I understand the bit about you saving me using nothing but a dagger, needle, thread and your bare hands but what I don't understand is which part of "I'm seeking a glorious and honorable death in combat" did YOU not understand?
- LiAm
I am your gaming god, in my temple of Geek.
I'm not going to get killed by no *$%*^£g Duck! Attributed to Stan Livesy Runequest 1983 shortly before his characters demise!
Marc
"Speaking to the dead is easy... hearing their reply is harder..." - Matthew Nuñez
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"I won't make love to it I'll just penetrate it" - Kevin McMail
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"You continue desecrating the corpse" - Steve Harrower
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"I maimed myself at exceptional speed" - Steve Harrower
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"Disorientated Gamers are funny" - Kevin McMail
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"If you give him the axe he will do one of two things: kill us in our sleep or choke on it" - Wolf
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"You want 3750gp in coins? Hold on I'll get the money pump..." - Quantum Midget
"Money pump?" - Gildwood
"With the amount of coin being delt with in this shop this is the only way to give change." - Quantum Midget
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Me (Gm): as your walking through the forrest you suddenly hear MEEEEAAAWWWWGAAAROOOOOIIIIGAMMMMANNNNAAAAIIIGOOOWAAAAA!
Johhnie: I caustiouly investogate the noise
Me (Gm): You find a Deer in a Bear trap!....well i dunno what noises deers make!
Zompire: Noun:- the result of a Zombie and a Vampire getting there Bow Chica Bow Bow on with each other.
Kerin: What have you been doing to her!?
Steve:huh?
Kerin:There is a white stain on the crotch of her jeans!!!
Steve: Well that wouldn't have happened if she hadn't used a spoon
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